Once Your Eyes Close
by Keera Tasuma
Summary: "I wonder if you will become attached to me someday-" Natsume once said such words to his constant companion. When their long-ago promise is finally fulfilled, Madara realizes that those words have become truth. If Natsume could somehow be revived, what would he do? The ayakashi has always desired the Book of Friends, but could he have come to value Natsume enough to give it up?
1. 1: The Demon & the Book of Friends

_1: The Demon __**and**__ the Book of Friends_

He had been sitting vigil beside him for three days and nights when the man finally opened his eyes. he turned his face, those golden orbs the same captivating color as always behind graying bangs. "What, you're still here? I thought you would have taken the Book of Friends and run off by now."

He growled softly. _"I swore I would watch over you until the end, Natsume."_

"The end… huh." He chucked, but it turned into a cough that wracked the painfully thin frame. "And? Have you been sufficiently entertained by keeping me company, Sensei?"

The enormous ayakashi laid his head on his paws, letting out a breath that rustled Natsume's hair. _"Natsume, I know little of humans, even now. Are you dying?"_

"Yes, I'm dying." The man closed his eyes and leaned back against his pillows with a small smile on his face. "That's why I haven't called the others recently. They would make such a fuss, you know?"

Madara knew. The yokai of the West Fields, as well those freed from the Book of Friends or still tied to it, and the many spirits that the foolishly good-natured Natsume had helped would tear the world apart for him, and the gifted man was fully aware of that. No human had ever had such a following of demons and apparition as Takahashi Natsume.

He had been a sight to see in his youth, astride Madara's powerful back with a hundred demons in tow, the Book of Friends in hand. Even Matoba had come to respect the young man's power. But those days had passed, and Natsume was fading. His face, always pale, was now akin to parchment, dry and rough. His features were sharper, his hands weak. He had not returned a name for many years now. Even if he wished to, he no longer had the strength to do so. Tens upon hundreds of possessions and curses throughout his life had slowly built up and taken their toll, and now he could not even get up from his mat without aid.

"I'm not an old man yet, but I've lived much longer than I had any right to expect," Natsume murmured, breaking the silence and his companion's musings. His hand slid between the covers and emerged with a green book, long and thinner that when they first met, but still containing many powerful names. "A promise is a promise, Sensei. This is yours."

_"__Natsume!" _ The ayakashi's rumbling exclamation shook the small house.

The man laughed, a sound that was far weaker than ever before in his closed throat. "Hey, Sensei, it was fun. Don't cause too much trouble." And the hand fell, landing softly on the covers with a sound that was like the collapsing of mountains in Madara's sensitive ears.

_"__Natsume- Natsume!"_

He was gone. That foolish, gentle Natsume was gone forever. Madara lifted his great head and let out a furious roar that rang across the valley. Everywhere, yokai froze fearfully, wondering what great beast was in such a rage. The white ayakashi touched his nose to Natsume's forehead, and caught the scent of death along with that which he knew so well.

Shifting into a more human form, Madara knelt beside the man's body. Clawed fingers touched the papery skin, and his brow creased. What was this feeling? Abandonment… perhaps. He had been with Natsume for almost thirty years, far longer than he had spent with any companion before, ayakashi or human.

_I wonder if you'll become attached to me someday._

He bowed his head, white hair falling around his face like a veil. But then his gaze turned to the Book of Friends, the object he had always desired to possess. He took it into his hands, feeling its substance, the power that pervaded it. And yet, all he could see within his thoughts was the determined gaze of those golden eyes when Natsume bit down on a name, and the peaceful expression on the boy's face when it was returned.

Madara flipped through the book carelessly, just as he had often scolded Natsume for doing, and paused at a particular name. His heart stuttered, a reaction he had not known ayakashi could have. _I never knew that Reiko had met this one._ If, perhaps, this name was what he thought… he looked to Natsume, laying as though asleep.

_Hey, Natsume, can I really have the Book of Friends when you're gone?_

_Yeah._

He closed the book with a _snap,_ putting it into the pouch that Natsume always carried it in and slinging it over his shoulder. Then he gathered the body of his foolish companion into his powerful arm and exploded from the window with a growl.

He soared over the valley, occasionally touching down briefly on roofs or treetops, but continuing towards the mountain in the distance. It would seem that some of the man's foolishness had rubbed off over the years, but that thought did not displease him as it once might have. When Madara touched down in the clearing, he yelled, "_Shitai no Senken! Where are you?"_

The spirit slid from the shadows, a hunched old man with a flat plane in place of eyes or eye sockets. "Madara?" it croaked. "What could possibly bring you here?"

"I need you to recall a soul."

"Madara, I can only do such things with a very strong summons."

The white-haired ayakashi carefully lay Natsume's body at the Corpse-Seer's feet. "Will this do?"

Shitai bent over the man's form and stroked his protruding chin. "Indeed, however, I must ask…" he looked towards the larger demon with a scraggle-toothed grin, "Why do you wish to reincarnate this human? Why should I do this for you?"

"Because," Madara growled, "I will kill you if you do not." The Book of Friends, which he had withdrawn from its bag, was open to the name of _Shitai no Senken._ With a flick of his clawed hand, he could tear both the name and its owner to shreds.

The Corpse-Seer gave a dry-throated cackle. "I see. Well, my payment is quite sufficient, then. This odd request is worth seeing you so desperate, Madara."

_Desperate?_ The cat-eyed ayakashi blinked in surprise, but then shook himself. Yes, he supposed that he was fairly desperate.

The wrinkled demon reached into Natsume's body, his hand become transparent as he did so, and, after several moments of rummaging, withdrew an orb of softly shimmering energy the same golden color as the man's eyes. "I can't control where he will be born," Shitai warned.

Madara only growled.

With another cackle, the Corpse-Seer released the soul, and it flew into the sky, vanishing from sight. Natsume's body shimmered like a mirage in the desert, and then faded. "Thank you for your business, Madara. Do come again." And with that the bent-over yokai shuffled back into his shadows and vanished.

Madara closed the book with a snort. "Hardly." And then he looked off into the distance with a small frown. Where had the soul landed? But then a small smile touched his lips and he chuckled. His form rippled, shifting into that of the great beast most knew him as.

It didn't matter where the soul had gone. Natsume had returned to this world, and Madara would find him. Nothing else mattered except for that.


	2. 2: The Boy's Hello-Goodbye

_2: The Boy's __**He**__llo-Goodbye_

_"__Why do I have to take him?"_ the woman grumbled as they walked up the walkway to her house. Her hand around his was not warm, practically dragging him in the door. "Take off your shoes."

The child obeyed, putting the scuffed sneakers neatly where they belonged and hanging his jacket on a hook. He then stood, head bowed, waiting for instructions.

The woman sighed and tossed her bleach-blonde hair. "Go in there," she pointed, "and be quiet for a while. I have to figure out where we'll put you."

The boy nodded and wandered into the next room. He sat on the faded green carpet and leaned his head against the wall with a sigh of his own. _"A child. A human child."_ He glanced sideways at the amorphous shapes wiggling at the edge of the room, golden eyes peering out from behind uncombed bangs. _"He's looking this way! Can he see us? What fun!"_

"Be quiet."

_"__He spoke to us! He sees us! He hears us!" _The little yokai danced excitedly.

The boy shook his head. _I guess I won't be here very long, either,_ he noted with a resigned attitude atypical of the average five-year-old.

_"__He looks the age. Yes, yes, golden eyes! It's Natsume! Natsume!"_

"Natsume? Hey, what are you- and they're gone." Another sigh, and then he looked up into the disapproving stare of his newest guardian.

"Who were you talking to?"

"I was telling myself a story to pass the time," he lied, ducking his head to hide the flush that rose to his cheeks. As much as he hated causing trouble for others, he wasn't very good at lying. The woman snorted and beckoned him to follow. She led him upstairs to a small attic room that had been made up with a bed on the floor and a dresser.

"You'll sleep here for now."

"Thank you." He had been through this before: 'for now' meant, 'until we get rid of you.' He didn't really mind. He would rather move on quickly than try to get along with people like this. But the spirits of this house were interesting. He didn't like youkai very much, but they seemed to know him. Or at least, someone who looked like him. The boy wondered idly if it could be a relative, someone who could see ayakashi, just like him.

But he gave up that train of thought quickly. Orphaned early, he didn't waste much time thinking of people whose voices and faces he couldn't recall.

He was sleeping soundly when the cool breeze brushed across his face. The boy opened his eyes to see a pale figure lounging on his windowsill, one leg inside, one leg out. "Hey, brat." Eyes with slit pupils like a cat's stared out of a finely featured face, accented with red markings. The wind blew long, white hair out into the night.

The boy sat up slowly, strangely unafraid. "Who are you?"

The demon laughed. "Well, you can call me whatever you like for now." His eyes glinted as he gave a fang-toothed grin. "I've come to get you, Natsume."

"Natsu… me…" It wasn't his name, but it sounded pleasant when he heard it.

The demon licked his lips. "Aren't you bored, here with a bunch of ignorant humans? Unlike before, there are no distant relatives who will be kind enough to take you in. Come with me." He held out a clawed hand to the child, who stared, wide-eyed. "There are others waiting for you."

"For me?" Who could possibly be waiting for him? He was an abandoned child, a freak unwanted by anyone. The boy hugged his knees against his chest and fought the tears. Watching him, Madara hopped over to the makeshift bed, wrapping an arm around the child, bringing the small, fragile body into the shelter of his loose white kimono.

"For you. Hinoe, Misuzu and Tsubame, even Chobi and those idiot land spirits are waiting for you. You don't know them, but… they know you. Everyone wants to see you."

_People are waiting for me._ It was such a sweet thought, but he was afraid to believe it.

_"__Natsume,"_ Madara knelt behind the child and wrapped his arms around the small human, resting his forehead against that soft hair. _"There's nothing holding you here. Come with me."_

After several minutes that tried the patience of one who had lived centuries, the boy nodded. The ayakashi felt a surge of satisfaction, and no small amount of relief as he set the child on his shoulders and changed forms. This time, Natsume would not have to deal with the pain and struggles of a human born with the ability to see spirits. He would be raised with care, hidden from those who would hurt him. This time would be different from before. He had spoken with the others, and they had come to this decision during the past five years.

Often before they had offered to bring Natsume away from the human world, but there had always been something holding him back. Now there was nothing, and all of Natsume's friends and familiars would be glad to take him away from the world of foolish, ignorant mortals for good this time.

The child fell asleep on his back, small hands curled in the soft fur. Madara gave a deep-throated chuckle. Things would finally become interesting again.

Hinoe and Misuzu were waiting when he landed, and the dark-haired demon slid Natsume carefully from Madara's back. "He's so tiny," she murmured.

A small bird, a swallow, fluttered down from the sky and landed on a nearby tree, its form shimmering to be replaced with a young paper-mask ayakashi with light brown hair and a pleasant smile. "That's the little Natsume?" She giggled. "He's sweet."

Madara shifted to his human form, shaking himself slightly to settle the shape. "Is the house finished?"

**"****The land spirits are almost finished,"** Misuzu rumbled. The large bull-spirit shook his head, ringing his great bells. **"For Sir Natsume to be safe from both humans and malignant ayakashi, many barriers have been raised."**

"Good." Madara took the sleeping child into his arms, to Hinoe's displeasure. "Don't make that face, old woman. You'll see him plenty. But I'm putting Tsubame in charge of him until he's older. Your personality will ruin him."

_"__Hmph._ You've got quite the twisted personality there, Madara." Hinoe tossed her curls and lit one of her signature cigarettes. "Though I suppose I can let you have your way for a few years."

**"****Likewise,"** Misuzu observed, **"I will keep my distance from Sir Natsume until he has matured. But I will be guarding him carefully, nevertheless."**

"I wouldn't mind _you,_ Misuzu," Madara shrugged, "If you could swallow enough of your pride to take human form every now and then."

**"… ****I shall consider it."**

The white ayakashi chuckled. "Tsubame."

"Yes!" The slender spirit hopped down from her perch and fell in behind Madara.

"Let's take him home."


	3. 3: Raised by Spirits

_3: Raised __**by**__ Spirits_

"Natsume. Natsume, stay in the yard!" Tsubame ran after the energetic child worriedly, stopping and giving a small smile and a sigh when she saw him hanging off of Madara's arm. The white ayakashi sported a disgruntled expression.

_"__Sensei!"_ The seven-year-old laughed, "You're back!"

Surprise flickered across his guardian's face. "Sensei?"

Natsume grinned. "Tsubame said that's what you call someone who teaches you. You teach me lots of things, so you're Sensei."

_"__Hmm."_ Madara ruffled the child's soft brown hair with something like satisfaction flickering within him. "Alright then. I did say you could call me as you like." Natsume laughed, and the ayakashi felt a faint tightness in his chest.

Just as they had imagined, Natsume quickly forgot the humans he had lived with and the pain they had brought him, as a child was wont to do. In the small but sturdy house hidden deep in the mountains, he was being raised with the utmost care.

"Natsume!" The little Kitsune ran out of the trees and tackled the child, who rolled on the ground happily with his friend. "You're my size now!" he exclaimed happily once they lay panting, side by side.

"Mm-hmm. But I'm still growing. Tsubame said I'll be tall."

_"__Uh-huh!"_

Natsume's shimmering eyes reflected the passing clouds as he looked up at the sky. At that time, Madara was struck by how much like a young spirit the boy looked. Those light eyes, with a slightly irregularly-shaped pupil, along with his pale skin and light hair, had always given him an ethereal feel, and he had been able to easily blend in with yokai when he tried. How many times would this boy surprise him? Madara wondered with a chuckle.

Natsume sat up, frowning as he gazed off into the trees. The Kitsune, still sprawled on the grass, tugged his arm. "What is it, Natsume?"

"Nothing… I just had a bad feeling."

Madara immediately tensed, growling to the hidden demons around the glade: _"Search the area. Tsubame, take Natsume inside."_

"Yes." The gentle spirit corralled the children and ushered them towards the house.

"Wha- Sensei? Tsubame?"

"This way, Natsume."

Madara shifted into his beast form, taking to the sky, where he met with Misuzu. **"Madara. Why the sudden panic? The barriers haven't been breached."**

"_When Natsume says he senses something, are you fool enough to ignore it?"_ Madara growled, eyes scanning the trees below.

**"****I am not,"** the black ayakashi rumbled, **"but he is a child, still. I feel perhaps you cater to him too much."**

_"__If there's one thing that boy won't be,"_ the wolfish demon grumbled, flicking his tail irritably, _"it's spoiled. He gets scolded often for his reckless ways, and will likely face danger as he gets older. Can you blame us for wanting to protect him while we can?"_

**"****I cannot,"** Misuzu admitted. **"For I, also, have been carefully guarding the boy. He is strange, to bring about change in so many who, until now, had been standing still."**

_Because of Natsume, we all began walking forward. We began to see a future where before there was only a continuous present._ Madara circled the woods once more and then growled softly, _"I'm going to check the edge of the barriers. I know you dislike it, but…"_

**"****I will change,"** Misuzu agreed. **"And I will stay with Sir Natsume until you return."**

Madara nodded, and then soared off towards the next mountain, the tip of which was one of the anchors for the barrier of spiritual energy that obscured Natsume's presence from the world.

Misuzu landed in the glade and shook himself, trying to get used to the feeling of a more human shape. The dark, purplish hair that cascaded in an untamed bramble down his back was a nuisance, and human limbs were so fragile, it was pathetic. But Natsume's smile when he came into the house made the irritation bearable. He supposed that they were all going soft because of this kid.

The boy ran towards him, and Misuzu backed up instinctively, thinking that the human child was going to hug him, but Natsume skidded to a stop just before running into the tall ayakashi. He smiled innocently. "Misuzu, you're human again."

"He's in human _form_, Natsume. It's a little different," Tsubame explained from her seat on the couch.

"Oh." And he laughed.

Misuzu's eyes softened.

The spirits who guarded Natsume after locating his second form had discussed giving him a different name. After all, the name of _Natsume_ was linked deeply with both human and yokai memory, whether because of Takashi or his grandmother Reiko.

But Madara had refused. "His aura is unmistakable," he said. "If they're going to find him, they will. Don't make extra trouble. All we have to do is protect him."

And Natsume was laughing joyously every day, bringing light into the shadowed glade where they raised him. How could they let him be sullied by pain or fear? Misuzu shook his head at his complacent thoughts. The most powerful and feared of ayakashi were becoming, as the land spirits once foolishly termed them, almost like Natsume's pets. And the boy didn't even realize what effect he was having on them.

()()()

He was sitting in the garden, poking the coyfish in the pond with a stick, when he was called to his ailing father's side. The man's hair, once black as night, was now pure white. But his dark eyes were as piercing as ever.

A worn hand rose and cupped the boy's cheek, not out of kindness, but to make sure he was paying attention. _"Listen to me, Reichi,"_ he rasped. _"What I have been unable to accomplish, I now pass to you as my heir."_

The boy nodded, his untrimmed bangs falling over his eyes. There was no sorrow on his youthful face; death was an expected and natural part of life. When his father was gone, all of his responsibilities as the head of the family would fall to his son.

The old man growled softly, his gaze flickering with memories. _"You must succeed, Reichi. You will remove the stain upon our honor that he made by his very existence."_

"Yes, father."

As soon as he gave these words, the weathered hand fell to the covers and moved no more. The head of the clan had died. There was no wailing, no mourning. The deathbed attendants removed the seal from over the man's eye and transferred it to his child. From that day forward, half of his sight would be forever darkened, the badge and price of the family's leadership. The boy, hardly eleven years old, stood and looked down at his father's corpse. The gathered humans and yokai in the room gave a low murmur. _"Hail to Lord Reichi, leader of the clan of Matoba."_


	4. My Most Humble Apologies

I would like to sincerely apologize for completely ceasing to update right after posting my planned schedule. There are multiple reasons for my disappearance, most of which I will not share due to their personal nature. However, I'm back, and intend to stay so. And I assure you that, although not on the originally planned schedule, I will be making a serious effort to frequently update all of my major projects.

Thank you for your patience and understanding. ^-^  
>- The Author<p> 


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